The best week ever

After my last post Fear. Anger. Jealousy. Regret I vowed to have the best week ever with my Little Man before my biopsy Friday. I am happy to say that every day so far has been wonderful, filled with fun and lasting memories. 


Monday we started out by going to Chuck E Cheese with some tokens we had stashed away. Had lunch and an ice cream then after dinner went to the dollar theater and saw 'The Lorax'. It was a great movie and had an incredible message. One of the quotes will stay with me forever. 


“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,

Nothing is going to get better. It's not.”

― Dr. Seuss, The Lorax


I know that C.J. is too young to even begin to understand the meaning behind that quote but I will recite it often to him. 


Tuesday we took the light rail train into uptown and went to ImaginOn. It's a huge library with lots of activities for kids- and it's free. I can't believe we hadn't gone before, but we will go back. C.J. had so much fun riding the light rail and can't wait to do it again. Then we had lunch at my parents house. Little Man came across a dollar and used it to get some M&M's. 


Today the morning started out stormy and yucky. So some great friends invited us as guests to go to the indoor pool at the Y. We had so much fun, and eventually the skies cleared up enough for some fun in the outdoor pool. 


We have plans for tomorrow that I'm hoping will pan out.



As I was reading him a book before bed I completely lost it. I don't know what came over me and attempted to compose myself but couldn't. The tears would not stop. I don't know how I became so lucky to have brought such an amazing person into this world. His infancy, I took for granted and I regret that. All those sleepless nights filled with feedings, those days when nothing went right- I just wished they would be over so fast and they were, but along with everything else. It went by so fast and I wont get any of those moments back. I can close my eyes and see a small baby, so warm and sweet and trusting asleep in my arms and I open them and see a living room cluttered with cars and super heroes. Where have the last two years gone? If you are reading this and have a new born, or are expecting or are planning on becoming a parent please take this advice. Cherish it all. The constant feedings, the sleep training, the puke, the diaper blow outs. Everything that you think sucks, and as much as it does, don't wish it away so fast. Because it's going to be gone in the blink of an eye. 


I'm so proud of the Little Man that my baby has become. He's brave and curious and smart. He is going to do wonderful things in this world and leave it better than when he came into it. I just pray that I will get to see all of the amazing things to come in his life. 

First post of 2012

Wow, it's so weird to say 2012. My oh my how time flies. I haven't updated in a while, Christmas time usually keeps my little family busy with fun and memories to be made. 


Little Man was introduced to Nokie the Elf this year. He had so much fun running around in the mornings trying to find out what he was up to. Unfortunately a cold hit the house pretty bad right before Christmas so Nokie didn't get to enjoy as many adventures as he would have liked. We did get some pictures of the ones he did achieve though. 

Fishing for gold fish... 

Roasting marshmallows

And being attacked my dinosaurs and sabers. Now, while this may look terrible, and that it would scare the heck out of a toddler... Little Man got a kick out if it.

And on Christmas morning CJ found this note Nokie had left...

We've also had our share of desserts around the house the last month. 

We've been painting presents to give to grandparents. 

And enjoying presents Santa left!

I've also been getting to know me a little better too. As a parent it can be easy to loose yourself when you are busy taking care of others and putting your own needs to the side. I've been spending time with friends and family and my husband. I'm finding that healthy balance between being a Mom and a woman, friend, daughter and wife. It isn't easy. It's hard to feel like your not being selfish when you want time to yourself when there are so many things to do. But I'm working through that!

Me and my Hubby

I have a feeling that 2012 is going to bring a lot of big things for my little family. We will as always roll with the punches and enjoy every moment together, and with family and friends. I hope that you do the same!

"Pick your battles"

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard the term "pick your battles" since I've become a Mother. Each day I go over the phrase in my head when Little Man is up to no good. Then I have to repeat it with every situation... evaluate, and ask myself "is this worth the fight?". 


For example, Little Man climbing onto a laundry basket and opening the screen door... yes it's worth the battle because I don't want him to fly off the basket, out the door and hit his head on the cement. Little Man pulling out the pots and pans right after I've washed and put them away... eh- not worth the battle. Little Man poking the dogs in the eyes... yeah, that's worth the battle- I would rather my dogs not go blind. Little Man pulling the lint filter out of the dryer getting lint everywhere... not worth the battle- he's just trying to help and I can easily just pick the lint off everything as annoying as it may be. 


I try to stay consistent. I still struggle with situations, some days certain things annoy more than they would on another day. I try to stay sensitive to him because sometimes he's just trying to help as much as in the long run he's doing more harm than good. There is a balance that has to be learned in letting them explore and keeping them from accidentally harming themselves or someone else. Every day brings a new challenges when you are a parent, it's very rare that you get two days exactly alike. As our children learn everyday so do we. We learn our breaking points, we learn to let go, we learn what cleaner is best at taking out nasty stains in the carpet and we also discover what lengths we go to to keep our children safe. 


I try not to give advice to other parents, I remember sometimes how badly that got under my skin. But I will say pick your battles. It can lead to less nerves being rattled and a happier you and child!

"Is he gone"

There are questions that a parent never wants to answer about their child. The most terrifying question I've ever been asked is "is he gone?". Even more terrifying, not knowing the answer.

I was faced with this question this past Wednesday.

I woke up Wednesday morning and looked at the clock. 8:30am, and Little Man was still asleep. A bit odd for him, as he likes to rise with the sun. I went in to check on him and he was awake but just laying there. No smiles, just laying passing his Sofie the giraffe between his hands. I felt his forehead and could feel the heat, checked his temperature and it read 99.9. I gave his pediatricians office a call so I could bring him in that morning. I was concerned because he has been battling an ear infection that would not seem to go away. We set the appointment for 9:45am. I gave my Mom a call to let her know what was going on, and she offered to go to the store and get whatever medicines he may need so I wouldn't have to worry about it. I told her I'd give her a call after we left the doctors office and we would just go from there. I quickly got CJ out of the bed and dressed, got myself dressed then packed up a banana and english muffin with some water for him to have on the way to the doctors office. He was a bit fussy on the way, only taking a few small bites of the banana and maybe one or two sips of his water. The doctor checked CJ out, noticing that his ear was still infected and that his throat was a bit inflamed. His temperature had also risen to 100. They gave me a new prescription for his ear, gave him a dose of Motrin and sent us on our way after saying he more than likely had a viral infection, and Motrin should clear up the fever.

Things fall into place.

I called my Mom on the way out to let her know I was just going to go ahead and run to the store myself to get the new prescription and some Tylenol and Motrin. She insisted she didn't mind, she was already dressed and ready to go so I headed home instead. CJ began to cry while we were stopped at a light, I turned around just as he was vomiting the small bites of banana and Motrin. It was a good thing I decided to go home instead of the store. When we got home I changed CJ's clothes, wiped him down and offered him some cheerios while he cuddled up on the couch to watch some cartoons. I gave the pediatrician's office a call to let them know he had thrown up the Motrin and that I was concerned that none had gotten into his system. The nurse I talked with said that was a tricky scenario, it's hard to tell how much of the medicine actually got into him and we needed to be careful about over dosing him- I should just wait until the next scheduling dosing time. She told me to just keep a close eye on him, keep him hydrated and to call with any other questions or changes. My Mom showed up with meds in hand and some cute little books to try to cheer up Little Man. He was in and out of naps and drinking water more and only seemed interested in eating cheerios and crackers.

Just in case.

At about 2:30 or so my Mom decided to go ahead and go. I asked her to please stay just in case something happened, I didn't want to be here by myself. I'm not sure why I asked her to stay, I guess this is where Mommy's premonition comes into play. Jimmy was in a training class for work and should be home at about 4:30 or so. She decided to stay until he got home, I think for peace of mind for me. CJ woke from a nap and was very shaky. Shaking from head to toe. He is usually shaky when he wakes up so at first I didn't think anything about it. 20 minutes go by and he is starting to burn up, shaking uncontrollably. But he is babbling to us and eating some cheerios. I checked his temperature... 103. I called the pediatrician's office back, worried about the rising fever and the shaking. I let them know what was going on, and reminded them that he had thrown up the Motrin from the morning. They asked me if he was coherent, yes. Did he seem confused? No. Did he seem to not know where he was? No, he knew where he was. The nurse again said we needed to be careful of over dosing him, and to hold off on more meds until the next dosing time- 4pm. She said he was probably cold, to try covering him up and maybe putting a cold rag on his head. I hung up with the nurse and got the cold rag and sat back down with my Little Man. The heat from his legs and arms was horrible, but he was still babbling to us and was eating the cheerios I offered to him.

Take me not him.

At about 3:15 or 3:30 I was still sitting on the couch with Little Man, my Mom was trying to call my Dad to let him know she'd be here until Jimmy got home. CJ was touching my nose, smiling and still munching on some cheerios. Then it happened. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, his body stretched out and his face twisted up into the most horrific way. He began to have convulsions. I picked CJ up into my arms screaming his name and screaming for my Mom to call 911. I couldn't see his beautiful eyes. His tongue was out of his mouth and he was jerking his head up and down gasping for breath. I didn't know what was happening to my baby. I was screaming "what do I do, I don't know what to do". I could hear my Mom on the phone with the 911 operator between my cries for them to please hurry. My Mom yelled to me to put a cold rag on his face. I ran into the bathroom grabbed a rag and barely wet it before putting it on his face and tried to hold it there with my cheek. I went down on my knees with my baby in my arms jerking uncontrollably and said over and over "Jesus take me not him, not him please not him". Why wasn't the ambulance here yet? Please someone help my baby! Then the jerking stopped and his body went limp and his head went back. He was not breathing.
I don't remember how much time passed. It feels like 3 hours. There were so many thoughts racing in my mind. He hasn't even been to the zoo yet. He hasn't been to beach. He hasn't had a chance to go fishing with his daddy. Never been to the movies. We wanted to take him to Disney World. Teach him to ride a bike...
My son's mouth was turning blue. I yelled to my Mom that he was not breathing please ask them what I do?! He's just a baby. My baby. My Mom told the operator that he was not breathing and that his lips were turning blue. My baby wasn't moving. He wasn't breathing.

I was screaming, NO. NO. NO. 

Then that question... "Is he gone?"

I was holding my baby in my arms. No breath. I will never forget that feeling, the heartbreak of not knowing if my child was alive or not. I thought I was holding my dead son. I said "I don't know".
Helplessness...
I didn't know what to do. I yelled for my Mom to ask if I should do CPR. I didn't even wait for an answer before laying him on the floor, my little baby's still body. So small, so innocent, my beautiful son that I dreamed of for years before we were blessed with his birth. He didn't deserve this. I prayed for the Lord to keep him, and to take me. I couldn't loose my baby. My husband could not loose his son. I tilted his head back and blew into his mouth just once and sat up. I stared at CJ, it felt like an eternity. This was my son, my baby boy. He couldn't be gone. Then I heard a sickening gurgling sound and saw his chest rise. I picked him up as fast as my shaking arms would allow. I was crying hysterically and still screaming his name and for him to please look at me. My Mom came over and tried to keep me quiet so she could tell the operator every time she felt a breath from CJ. She said it a few times, I remember, breath... breath... breath. Just as the fire truck pulled up my baby let out a heartbreaking cry. I'll never forget that cry. I think he was telling us, "I'm still here".

Is he okay?

Everything was a blur from there. Someone had me lay him on the couch. They were asking me questions I didn't know the answers to. Was my baby okay? Is he going to be okay? That's all I wanted to know. CJ was crying loudly as they put the oxygen mask on him. I was shaking, holding onto the back of the couch to keep from falling over. Why were they asking so many questions? Just please take him to the hospital, make sure he's okay. Someone asked me where his carseat was, they needed to put in on the stretcher in the ambulance. My Mom was telling me she couldn't get Jimmy to answer his phone. I told her she needed to call his work phone, the number was in my phone. They told me to get CJ a bag together. My Mom said she couldn't find my phone. I couldn't find it either. Someone was holding CJ as I was flipping over couch cushions looking for diapers, his shorts, my phone. I finally found it and called Jimmy's work phone. He answered with a frantic "what's going on". I cried we're going to the hospital CJ's going to the hospital before my Mom took the phone to explain. I was too shaken up. They handed me my baby and I could barely hold myself together enough to even hold him. I was scared I'd hurt him. I carried him to the stretcher and tried to show a medic how the straps of his carseat worked. My baby still wasn't looking at me, he was sobbing, I was sobbing. Someone was explaining to me that he had a febrile seizure. I didn't know what that meant at the time. Nothing was making sense. All I knew was something was wrong with my baby. In the ambulance I tried to sing "You are my sunshine" to CJ to calm him down. The medic riding in the back was attempting to calm me down too. She was asking lots of questions and I tried to answer the best I could. I remember her saying to me "I understand this is scary, I'd be scared too if it were my child, he's going to be okay". I just wanted him to look at me, to know I was there. When we finally got to the hospital I got sick several times before even exiting the ambulance. In the hospital room I remember them telling me his temperature was 104.5. They gave him a suppository to bring his fever down. He finally looked at me after he calmed down a bit. I still remember that look of Mom what's happening? So confused. I had my hand on his and told him how much I loved him. Jimmy came into the room and I broke down again as he hugged me then went to CJ. A doctor came in to explain what a febrile seizure was. He told us it was more common than people realize and that CJ would  be just fine. A nurse came in to do some blood work and I left CJ in his Daddy's capable strong hands and excused myself to the bathroom to splash some water on my face.

We came home with CJ that night. As soon as we got into the house CJ went to his high chair to let us know he was hungry. He munched on some crackers and drank some water and pedialyte. He had some energy for a while and was ready for some sleep at about 1am. Me and Jimmy camped out in his room that night to keep a close eye on him. I slept in there the next night. 

I am happy to say that Little Man is doing a lot better now. He has his appetite, humor and some energy back. He's not 100% back to his old self, but getting there. Were still battling to keep the fever away, and neither me or his Daddy are sleeping well yet. I still have the images of that day in my brain. I am praying that they go away, I don't want to remember him like that. I want to see ONLY how he is now. But I don't think a Mother ever gets over the feeling of not being able to help their child. 

Looking back on that day I see how things lined up to happen the way they did. I am grateful my Mom came over that morning instead of staying home like I told her to. I am grateful my Mom stayed after I had a gut feeling I would need her. I am thankful to God for my Mom's strength while I didn't know what was happening to my baby. If she hadn't had been there I don't know what I would have done, not knowing exactly where my phone was to call for help. I am thankful for my husband being a rock while I am a still not over this. I am thankful for my Mother-in-Law who prayed and prayed for our Little Man. I am thankful for all our amazing family and friends. Eternally grateful for those that came to the hospital out of concern for all of us. Blessed with the phone calls and prayers that we received. It is safe to say that I have a renewed faith now. I am learning to leave things in God's hands and trust his plan.

Several people think that maybe he choked on a cheerio when the seizure started... they say that that one simple breath into his mouth saved him. I don't know if this is the case- or how that could be, but I do know the steps to take now in the future. A child that has one febrile seizure is more prone to have them in the future, and will eventually outgrow them before kindergarten age. 

I don't think I will ever get over what happened. I will never get over the feeling of not being able to answer the question of "is he gone"? I will never get over the thought of holding an angel who had gone on.
But I am counting my blessings that he is still here.

Dear CJ, Mommy is so proud of you

CJ,

I am so incredibly proud of you. You have been off the bottle for 6 days now... and you have adjusted so well. It is almost as if you never drank from one to begin with! You are transitioning into an independent toddler so quickly, and soaking in all of life's little wonders. It amazes me how you approach life. You don't hurry anything, you take your time getting to know new things you encounter and have no fear. It inspires me to slow down and enjoy all of the little things. I am so grateful to you for that.

I hope you know how much I love you, and treasure every day we spend together.

Love,

Mommy

"Take a nap"

If you know us at all, you know the problems that we have had with Little Man's sleep. He hates, no wait- LOATHES sleep. When he was a new born and up every couple of hours to eat it was hard to get into a good routine. I was a new Mom, I tried to keep up with laundry, dishes, and keeping the house looking decent. The advice was always the same- sleep when he sleeps. Well I tried this. I always learned that as soon as I laid down to take a little nap- he would wake up. Every time. So I gave up on trying to nap when he did.

CJ's naps have never been consistent. They would maybe only last a little less than an hour... and the crying at bed time was heart wrenching. Waking up several times a night crying again for spats that lasted anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. When we would get out of the house countless people would always point out "aww, he looks so tired", and then look at me like I should not have him out. I would attempt to explain that he always looked tired because he was not a good sleeper.

Fast forward to several weeks ago. We started a new night time routine that CJ didn't fight and his sleeping got alot better. His nap during the day slowly started to get longer and longer. It seemed like we were finally going to get some rest around here! But I was still exhausted. Being a Mommy takes a lot out of you! So the day before yesterday my Mom came over and I was telling her about how good CJ had been napping now, and he was starting to get a good bit of rest during the day. "Good" she said, "Now you need to start getting some rest while he does". I explained to her that by me taking a nap when Little Man did would surely jinx his new found love of naps. "Well hasn't he been napping for a couple of hours during the day now?" she asked. I nodded. "And this good routine has been going on for a while." she added. She had a good point. Now that CJ was napping good, I could catch a little snooze during the day so I wouldn't be dragging by dinner time.

So yesterday after I put CJ down for his nap and he drifted to sleep, I got all the dishes done, checked my Facebook then sat on the couch. I decided to try to get a little nap. I laid down, covered up and closed my eyes. As soon as I drifted to sleep it happened. He woke up. Not even 30 minutes after I put him down.

So I am finished with the day time nap attempt.

And guess what? He napped for 3 hours today.

Role models

I remember when I was around 13, I admired Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. I thought she was pretty, and someone I wanted to look like. Back then the internet didn't offer celebrity gossip and we didn't have TMZ on the TV. I didn't know what she was up to off screen other than what I read in Tiger Beat. All I knew was that I thought she was a great actress.

My original post was going to focus on how crappy teens these days have it when it comes to role models. I know that some girls out there look up to Miley Cyrus (remember when she hit the bong?), Snooki and the girls from Teen Mom (got fame from reality tv). Then when I reached out to some Moms of tween and teens on who their kids admired I was a bit surprised with the responses I got.

One Mom responded that her daughter admires some of the older girls at their Equestrian barn, and that these girls are fabulous role models! Anothers son really looks up to athletes.
How about musicians? I'm quoting a Mom on this one - "My boys are into music so they like true artists that can sing without digital aid, play instruments by ear, sound even better live than in the studio. They also like extreme sports stars."

So I was proved wrong. There are still great role models out there! Not all kids are aspiring to be just like Lindsay Lohan or Lady Gaga.

But the sad truth is, some kids still do. I think us parents just have to hope that our kids wont follow in the same foot steps... we can try to steer them towards better role models but where do we cross the line between shoving good morals down their throats and letting them like who they like?

Some days

Before I begin, I want to say that I love my son more than anything in world. However there are still some days...


Most of the time I am in full Mommy-mode. Then there are some days when I don't feel like it. I don't want to get out of the bed or I literally check the clock every 5 minutes counting down to Little Man's bedtime. I hate to admit it, but it's the truth. Some days I wish that I could go away and not have to worry about being a Mom. There are days when I want to go into stores by myself, and spend countless hours looking at things even if I don't have money to buy them- just being with my own thoughts. Or not even to have to think at all. There are some days when my mind doesn't want to function and I have to force myself to concentrate on things, simple things- like feeding CJ or changing his diaper. There are some days when I dread the norm, because I don't feel like spending an hour to get my toddler to take a nap that only last 30 minutes. I don't feel like cleaning up endless cups of spilled juice or picking goldfish crumbs out of the carpet. I just want to get away and not have to worry if Little Man is being taken care of. Some days I want to get into my car and drive, play the radio full blast listening to music that reminds me of days when I didn't have so many responsibilities.


Some days I just don't feel like it.

A sad moment...

Slowly but surely all of Little Man's baby things have been put away out of sight. The bassinet, swing, excer-saucer, beloved ducky tub and bouncy chair.

We recently proofed his bedroom and put some of his toys back there so he could play in his room, and the living room would maybe not look so much like a toy bin exploded. I began to put away the baskets I received at the baby shower, that said "baby", because he is not a baby anymore.

My Little Man is becoming a full-fleged toddler and I want his room to reflect this. But it still makes me sad. I look at pictures of him as a newborn often and wonder where the time went. Didn't I just give birth to him yesterday? Wasn't I just pregnant a few days ago?! I remember when we introduced him to a spoon, or at least tried to. He hated it, and didn't want a thing to do with it. I told my husband "he will never get this". And now, he holds the spoon by himself. There were times when I tried to rush his "milestones", like trying to get him to hold his own bottle and the excitement of him sleeping in his crib and not in the bassinet next to the bed. Looking back, I should not have rushed things. While I cherished the moments, I should have attempted to keep him a little baby as long as I could. Everyone warned me how fast everything would go by. I miss the days when he would snuggle in the bed with me first thing in the morning and we would both drift back off to sleep because I didn't have to worry about him rolling off the bed. Now he purposely tries to do this.

Last night after doing the dishes I turned off the water and noticed the strange quiet. In this house, unless CJ is napping silence only means trouble. I went in search of Little Man. He wasn't in the living room, not in the dining room. I checked his room, didn't see him. I started to panic. I called my husband and when he didn't answer I checked everywhere again. I started to hyperventilate a little, and was just about to dial 911, then heard a little giggle from his room. I went in, looked around and still didn't see him. Another giggle. I stood still and held my breath and then I saw the glider move. He was hiding behind the glider! He had never done this before... EVER. I slid the glider out of the way picked him up and hugged him, thankful first that some crazy person hadn't broken into the house without my knowing and taken my baby and second, that I didn't call 911 before I found him for fear of utter embarrassment. When I sat him back down he took off for the glider again, climbed into it and was rocking back and forth while standing up. I knew at that moment, it was the end of the glider in Little Man's room. The last remaining item that reminded me of CJ's infancy.

As I pushed the glider out of his room into ours my heart was heavy. It was a sad moment in time for me, realizing that the big picture was that my son was becoming a toddler, then he would be a preschooler, and go on to grade school, junior high, high school, college and will be an adult before I know it. I looked back to see CJ turning over his toy ottoman to climb onto. My baby while still there in my mind and heart, was no longer a baby. He was growing up. So now I will try even harder to cherish these toddler years. Hold his hand a little longer while he will let me, give bigger hugs, build weird things with blocks and carry him further. Because all too soon he will not need to hold my hand, it wont be cool to give mom hugs, blocks will be replaced with a video game, and he will be too big for me carry.

Doubt, guilt and everything in between.

Do you wonder on a daily basis if the things that you do today will effect your child forever? I know that I do. Recently in general conversation with my mom about books, it dawned on me that I had not read to Little Man in a few days. Will he grow up to hate books because of this? I let him have cookies sometimes. Is he getting too much sugar because of this? Am I starting a trend of bad eating habits because I give him cookies sometimes instead of a banana? Then I stress about it, mull the possibilities of all of the others things I did, or did not do that could screw up my son forever.

I know that every Mom will make mistakes throughout parenthood. I believe it's part of becoming a better parent. You make mistakes, and learn from them. Obsessing over these mistakes on the other hand can only lead to headaches and an empty bottle of Advil. But I do it anyway. Sometimes I curse at myself, and go on and on about how I am a bad Mother for the choices I have made.

In all honesty, I know deep down that I'm not a bad Mom. I try everyday to teach Little Man good things, and attempt to show him all the love in the world, and when I don't think I have any left- I find even more. Along with CJ, I'm learning everyday too. I think that my good attempts far outweigh the bad; and even on the worst of days I am learning to find humor in all the little things that can and WILL go wrong. Everyday will not be perfect.

I am on a path to learning to forgive myself for the mistakes that I make. But right now, at this moment in time- I am my son's hero... I am a perfect Mom (at least in his eyes).

Mommy Mind

Some days I think I have simply gone mad. My mind has left me and run off to a more simple care free place. For instance yesterday, while showering, I couldn't figure out why my conditioner would not rinse out of my hair. Then I realized, I put shaving cream in it. Shaving cream?!
side note: I feel it's important to add that it was not a miraculous discovery of an unknown beauty secret, my hair was looking quite oily yesterday as a result of my mishap.

Several days ago, I was cooking dinner and went to turn a burner off. Instead, I turned a different burner on. Didn't realize until 5 minutes later what I had done. The terrible part is, I looked down and saw the red light on- but didn't acknowledge what I had done. Two weeks ago I put our milk in the pantry. My list of "oops" have become so long that it scares me. I am a walking accident waiting to happen.

I now know that I am suffering from a very serious but common condition known as, Mommy mind. Many mothers suffer from this condition.
Symptoms may include- putting dinner in the oven without actually turning the oven on; washing 4 loads of clothes only to realize when your done you forgot to put detergent in the washer; turning your stove on, chopping vegetables and then forgetting what you were attempting to cook in the first place; misplacing keys, cell phone, children etc.

There is help available if you suffer from Mommy mind. A nice cold beer, or glass of wine. Indulging in chocolate or 5 minutes of "me" time can sometimes assist your mind in finding it's way back to you. Or at least I hope it does...

I'll take a cookie too, please!

So because little man was sick during his 1year pedi check up, we had to postpone his shots until today. 3 shots, one visit. I hate shot day, because... well- I am a wimp. And yes, I know that my son is the one getting the shots and not me. But when it comes to needles, ick.

This morning when me and my husband went to get CJ out of bed, he was in such a happy go lucky mood. The poor kid had no idea what was coming. In the waiting room at the doctors office he was walking around smiling at all the people, laughing having a good time. I knew this mood would not last long. Of course we waited for ever for the nurse to come in and in the mean time my nerves were on end. When the sweet little nurse finally came in with her bucket of needles, band aids, and alcohol wipes CJ was already fussy and ready to go. When she administered the 1st shot, little man lost it. I am sure you could hear his scream across the state. Then the 2nd shot, I lost it. Keep in mind please that I have to have my husband hold CJ will he gets his shots. I would rather be the comforter. 3rd shot, agony. The tears, the screams... my poor little red faced baby. Then I remembered I came prepared. I packed the diaper bag with reinforcement. Cookies! One cookie in my son's hand later and he is fine. I am the one having to hide the tears forming in my eyes. Maybe I should have had a cookie too. Next time I'll pack some for myself.

I wonder when someone will write the book "Diary of a wimpy Mom"?

CJ's 1st Birthday party- Gabba style!

Recently my son's 1st Birthday party was featured on Gabba Friends . I am not sure if you are familiar with the show Yo Gabba Gabba, but finding merchandise for a Birthday party is difficult. About 90% of the decorations and "special touches" were made by me and my husband. Here is a link, with tutorials on some of the things we made.


CJ's 1st Birthday! Gabba Style