Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Let go and break free
Somewhere in the world today someone lost someone they loved. Their world will never be the same, they are heart broken and inconsolable. I recently learned of a couple who lost their baby after delivering early. I can't even begin to fathom the pain they are feeling. After learning of this loss my mind went to my family. We don't know how long we are going to be graced with each other, with those we love. It could be tomorrow we are forced to say good-bye or it could be years from today. While I don't like to think about these types of things it really made me consider the things I have done, and will do today because tomorrow is not promised at all. Did I tell everyone that is special to me thank you for being in my life? Did I tell my friends that they have all impacted me in ways I can't even begin to describe? Did I sit with my dogs and just pet them and tell them they bring me joy? Have I called my parents and told them I love them and am grateful for everything they've done for me? Did I take an extra 5 or 10 minutes to just study my son's face? It changes everyday. Did I do something special with him because he wanted to? The answer is no, not today. And that answer breaks my heart. They say never give up and always strive for more. I believe these are great words to live by. But I also believe the lines have been blurred somewhere along the road. Never giving up is great until you are constantly stressed about something that it wears you to the bone and you've forgotten why you were reaching for that something to begin with. Why are we all so wired for stress? I see these people, they are so laid back and they could have the world falling apart under their feet and they are still smiling happy and care free. How do they do it? I'm envious. That is the type of person I want to be. It's who I strive to be. But then something happens and I begin to stress and worry, and then life happens. Cooking, cleaning, running errands. Then I'm exhausted by the end of the day. Then I lay in bed and think of all the things I should have done that day instead of worrying about making sure the laundry was done or making sure dinner was ready at a certain time. And then I promise myself the next day will be different. I will slow down, not let the stress of my life get to me and just enjoy the day. Then I wake up and have a million things going through my mind and rush around and forget all of those promises I had just made to myself. It's a pattern and I don't know how to break it. I think alot of people have this problem. Sometime's when I'm busy doing something Little Man will come up to me and say he wants to do something like go to the park. And I'll reply with "Not right now kiddo, Mommy's busy". To which he reply's "CJ go to park tomorrow?". So now I'm left to wonder how many time's I've promised him that tomorrow we will do something because today we are busy. What if we never got that tomorrow? Life happens too fast. We need to stop saying maybe tomorrow and start doing things now. Start enjoying our lives. Screw the dishes, screw the laundry, screw the bills for now. Screw the stress. Take a sick day when your not just to lay in bed with your spouse and talk. Take a road trip with your family. Enjoy the company of an old friend. Spend a day with your parents. Take your dog for a walk. Take the only 5 dollars you have to your name and let your kid spend it on candy. ENJOY LIFE. LET GO OF WHAT WE HAVE BEEN WIRED TO THINK WE NEED AND BREAK FREE FROM IT! Tomorrow may not come so let's stop being consumed by what the main stream is telling us. Bigger, better, faster. I say we need to realize how small we are in this huge world. I say we don't need better because we are already surviving on the best we have. I say screw the faster because I want to see things as they are happening, not buzzing by me so fast I didn't have a chance to check it out. Still go for your dreams and keep trying if you fail. Don't let it consume you though. And it's okay to want more but don't spend your whole life chasing after something just because someone told you it was what you are supposed to have. Do it because you want to. I am taking a personal pledge. To say screw you stress. Everything will be okay in the end. And if it's not, then it is not the end. Press on and be happy. I want to be that person who when the world begins to crumble at my feet I just get up and shuffle to a different spot with a smile on my face. I want all of my today's to be awesome. I know this will be a difficult thing to do, I have a habit of letting myself get caught up in the stress of a situation and then dwell on it. But from here out I'm going to try with all my might to stop. Because this could be our last today.