Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A sad moment...

Slowly but surely all of Little Man's baby things have been put away out of sight. The bassinet, swing, excer-saucer, beloved ducky tub and bouncy chair.

We recently proofed his bedroom and put some of his toys back there so he could play in his room, and the living room would maybe not look so much like a toy bin exploded. I began to put away the baskets I received at the baby shower, that said "baby", because he is not a baby anymore.

My Little Man is becoming a full-fleged toddler and I want his room to reflect this. But it still makes me sad. I look at pictures of him as a newborn often and wonder where the time went. Didn't I just give birth to him yesterday? Wasn't I just pregnant a few days ago?! I remember when we introduced him to a spoon, or at least tried to. He hated it, and didn't want a thing to do with it. I told my husband "he will never get this". And now, he holds the spoon by himself. There were times when I tried to rush his "milestones", like trying to get him to hold his own bottle and the excitement of him sleeping in his crib and not in the bassinet next to the bed. Looking back, I should not have rushed things. While I cherished the moments, I should have attempted to keep him a little baby as long as I could. Everyone warned me how fast everything would go by. I miss the days when he would snuggle in the bed with me first thing in the morning and we would both drift back off to sleep because I didn't have to worry about him rolling off the bed. Now he purposely tries to do this.
Last night after doing the dishes I turned off the water and noticed the strange quiet. In this house, unless CJ is napping silence only means trouble. I went in search of Little Man. He wasn't in the living room, not in the dining room. I checked his room, didn't see him. I started to panic. I called my husband and when he didn't answer I checked everywhere again. I started to hyperventilate a little, and was just about to dial 911, then heard a little giggle from his room. I went in, looked around and still didn't see him. Another giggle. I stood still and held my breath and then I saw the glider move. He was hiding behind the glider! He had never done this before... EVER. I slid the glider out of the way picked him up and hugged him, thankful first that some crazy person hadn't broken into the house without my knowing and taken my baby and second, that I didn't call 911 before I found him for fear of utter embarrassment. When I sat him back down he took off for the glider again, climbed into it and was rocking back and forth while standing up. I knew at that moment, it was the end of the glider in Little Man's room. The last remaining item that reminded me of CJ's infancy.

As I pushed the glider out of his room into ours my heart was heavy. It was a sad moment in time for me, realizing that the big picture was that my son was becoming a toddler, then he would be a preschooler, and go on to grade school, junior high, high school, college and will be an adult before I know it. I looked back to see CJ turning over his toy ottoman to climb onto. My baby while still there in my mind and heart, was no longer a baby. He was growing up. So now I will try even harder to cherish these toddler years. Hold his hand a little longer while he will let me, give bigger hugs, build weird things with blocks and carry him further. Because all too soon he will not need to hold my hand, it wont be cool to give mom hugs, blocks will be replaced with a video game, and he will be too big for me carry.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Turkey Hangover

Thanksgiving has come and gone. Countless days prepping, checking shopping lists and trips to the grocery store for a meal that lasts 20 minutes. But it is well worth it to me. Bringing family together to laugh and enjoy each others company. Little Man was so exhausted with all the excitement and he didn't want to nap, as you can clearly see in our Thanksgiving family portrait below. He did enjoy the sweet potatoes and banana pudding though! It was a great day.

This was my first year hosting Thanksgiving dinner at my house. Luckily, I divided up the menu throughout my family so I would not have to cook everything by myself. The turkey came out beautiful. I took a bit of Sandra Lee's recipe: Food Network Sandra Lee Butter Herb Turkey . I didn't use the onions, garlic or vegetables, but I did use some orange zest in the butter and stuffed the turkey with some as well.

This is the 2nd year I've made this turkey and it always comes out so moist. You can also use this recipe with a chicken. We have been feasting on turkey and all the fixings since Thursday. Last night I decided to use up all the left overs in a turkey pot pie. I used this recipe- All Recipes- Easy turkey pot pie . I threw in some left over mashed potatoes to make it a bit more thick, as well as some poultry seasoning for extra flavor. It came out pretty good.

I think it's pretty safe to say though, we are all suffering from a turkey hangover now. Spaghetti is on our menu for tonight.

I hope that you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving as much as I did!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Not so wordless Wednesday

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It's a time that should be used to reflect upon what you are thankful for. I think that the typical responses to this are family, friends, health etc. This is great. We should always be grateful to have been blessed with family and friends. Think a little more about what else you are grateful for. If you are reading this post you have been blessed with access to a computer, and internet. Sight, and the ability to read.

I think so often we count our blessings but at the same time forget the small everyday things we take for granted. Drugstores for the colds we get the week of Thanksgiving (like me). The people that work at these drugstores during the holidays so we can have access to what we need. They are working and not with their family while so many others are. It is these type of things I hope to remain grateful for.

So after you read this, and go about your life, stop and think of the little things that help you day to day- as well as your family and friends.

I am grateful that I have readers who hopefully can be inspired by what I write.

Be blessed today and everyday!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

not the same as before

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”

~ Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

A friend sent the quote above to me when I had CJ. I don't think she realizes the impact that quote had on me, and has stuck with me since.

Maybe it's the cold medicine I'm on, but I feel the need to get deep for a moment.

Before I became a mother I wondered often what my purpose was. I felt like I hadn't found "me" yet. I didn't go to college or travel, nothing exciting like that. I thought I'd never have an impact on the world or matter in any way. Then I had Little Man. The first time I held him, in that very second in time- I knew EXACTLY why I was here. I looked at his beautiful innocent face and every label, bad decision, and stupid mistake that I had ever made just melted away. I was a Mother. He was my purpose. I was not the same person as before. On many levels.

I have gone very deep with the thought of bringing up another person in this world. I am responsible for this life, and the impact he will have on the world. Thinking back upon this I understood that my impact was in fact HIS impact. I matter because HE matters.

I know there is still some of the old me in here. Its as if I'm "new and improved"! I do miss some of the old me perks- like sleeping in on the weekends, having a drink whenever I wanted, and having a couch free of cookie finger prints. But those finger prints always serve to remind me why I am here.

So no, I am not the same woman I was before I became a Mother. I am a better version of me. For this I will always be grateful to my son.

Thanks again Stacie, for the quote. I hope you now know how much it meant to me.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Fun Friday

Friday is upon us once again! This week I wanted to feature something to get your feet tapping. This video has been featured on so many sites already, but maybe you haven't seen it? Personally, I don't watch Glee. I know, I know, I should. But I love watching the videos online.

This one just happens to be one of my favorites! Gwyneth Paltrow sings Cee Lo's 'Forget you'!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

A good read

If you are a fan of poetry, music or just beautifully written words- I have a great book suggestion for you. I'd Say These Miracles Work by Rebecca Brooks Chasteen is a collection of poetry and prose that is inspiring, thought provoking and genuine.
For more beauty from Rebecca visit her blog at http://rlbchasteenpoetry.wordpress.com/ .
Go. Read. Be inspired. I sure was.

Wordless Wednesday

Photography done by Alisa Homewood of Alisa Homewood Photography

Monday, November 15, 2010

Doubt, guilt and everything in between.

Do you wonder on a daily basis if the things that you do today will effect your child forever? I know that I do. Recently in general conversation with my mom about books, it dawned on me that I had not read to Little Man in a few days. Will he grow up to hate books because of this? I let him have cookies sometimes. Is he getting too much sugar because of this? Am I starting a trend of bad eating habits because I give him cookies sometimes instead of a banana? Then I stress about it, mull the possibilities of all of the others things I did, or did not do that could screw up my son forever.

I know that every Mom will make mistakes throughout parenthood. I believe it's part of becoming a better parent. You make mistakes, and learn from them. Obsessing over these mistakes on the other hand can only lead to headaches and an empty bottle of Advil. But I do it anyway. Sometimes I curse at myself, and go on and on about how I am a bad Mother for the choices I have made.

In all honesty, I know deep down that I'm not a bad Mom. I try everyday to teach Little Man good things, and attempt to show him all the love in the world, and when I don't think I have any left- I find even more. Along with CJ, I'm learning everyday too. I think that my good attempts far outweigh the bad; and even on the worst of days I am learning to find humor in all the little things that can and WILL go wrong. Everyday will not be perfect.

I am on a path to learning to forgive myself for the mistakes that I make. But right now, at this moment in time- I am my son's hero... I am a perfect Mom (at least in his eyes).

Friday, November 12, 2010

Fun Friday

Friday is here! This weeks Fun Friday post follows in theme with last weeks. Here is a NEW Hillywood Show video- Eclipse Parody. Enjoy!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Where are the damn cookies?

So me and Little Man were at the grocery store yesterday, and I bought another box of banana cookies (his fav). I brought all the groceries home and put away the perishables and got busy doing other things before putting everything else up. When I finally got around to putting the rest of the groceries away I couldn't find the cookies. I checked everywhere, the cabinet (maybe I had already put them up *mommy mind*), the trash (maybe I threw them away, that's happened before) then I thought maybe I was crazy. Did I even buy the damn cookies in the first place? I checked my receipt, they were on there. Where did they go? I literally tore the house apart looking for them. I finally gave up until I was putting laundry away in Little Man's room. Here is what I found after opening his dresser:


I hope this is not a reoccuring theme in the future.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Fun Friday

Last week I started a new series of posts titled "Fun Friday". I hope that you enjoyed last week, but if you are a Twilight fan like me, you may enjoy this more!

This New Moon parody may be a bit long for some of you, but please trust me, it's worth the 10 minutes. You will be blown away at the sisters, Hannah and Hilly who came up with this idea. The choreography is amazing, and some of the cast portraying the original characters are bordering on doppelgangers in my opinion. There is also a Twilight parody that is great as well. Check out their channel on YouTube- http://www.youtube.com/user/JckSparrow to see all of the work they have done.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

Mommy Mind

Some days I think I have simply gone mad. My mind has left me and run off to a more simple care free place. For instance yesterday, while showering, I couldn't figure out why my conditioner would not rinse out of my hair. Then I realized, I put shaving cream in it. Shaving cream?!
side note: I feel it's important to add that it was not a miraculous discovery of an unknown beauty secret, my hair was looking quite oily yesterday as a result of my mishap.

Several days ago, I was cooking dinner and went to turn a burner off. Instead, I turned a different burner on. Didn't realize until 5 minutes later what I had done. The terrible part is, I looked down and saw the red light on- but didn't acknowledge what I had done. Two weeks ago I put our milk in the pantry. My list of "oops" have become so long that it scares me. I am a walking accident waiting to happen.

I now know that I am suffering from a very serious but common condition known as, Mommy mind. Many mothers suffer from this condition.
Symptoms may include- putting dinner in the oven without actually turning the oven on; washing 4 loads of clothes only to realize when your done you forgot to put detergent in the washer; turning your stove on, chopping vegetables and then forgetting what you were attempting to cook in the first place; misplacing keys, cell phone, children etc.

There is help available if you suffer from Mommy mind. A nice cold beer, or glass of wine. Indulging in chocolate or 5 minutes of "me" time can sometimes assist your mind in finding it's way back to you. Or at least I hope it does...

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

On a short leash

Before I became a Mom it was easy for me as an onlooker to say "I would never do that". I would see parents doing things that I swore I'd never do. One of the things I swore I'd never do was a baby harness- or for lack of better wording- baby leash. You know what I'm talking about. The child has a harness on them that has a tether that the parent will hold. I was not judging these parents that used these, I just told myself that when I had a child I'd take a different route. However, this weekend while attending a Halloween carnival with Little Man I realized that if I had a harness for him, I might be able to relax a little bit. Every time I put him down he would take off. He does not like to hold anyone's hand, as much as I try and fight him on it. You steer him in one direction, he wants to go the other. Even attempting to teach him a bean bag toss, the game attendant would hand him a bag and he would try to run away with it. I didn't want to hold him the whole time- 23 pounds can get heavy after a few minutes; and I wanted him to be able to enjoy the carnival from outside his stroller. Was I just suppose to chase him around the whole time? After a horse and carriage ride we called it a day and went home. The thought of the harness didn't enter my mind again until Halloween night. I took Little Man out for his first night of trick or treating. It went great. That is, until someone would answer their door, CJ just walked right on into their house. I understand that a 1 year old doesn't know any better, but that leash would have come in handy. So finally, I have given in. I bought a leash for my son. Excuse me, a harness.

We used it for the first time today in Home Depot. All I can say is, best $12.79 ever spent. Little Man had no choice but to go in the direction we went. Every now and then I'd let him lead the way. But I couldn't help but wonder if people thought it looked like I was "walking my child". But no matter what the onlookers thought I knew I'd rather be safe knowing Little Man was on the other end of that leash, than be sorry.