Monday, November 15, 2010

Doubt, guilt and everything in between.

Do you wonder on a daily basis if the things that you do today will effect your child forever? I know that I do. Recently in general conversation with my mom about books, it dawned on me that I had not read to Little Man in a few days. Will he grow up to hate books because of this? I let him have cookies sometimes. Is he getting too much sugar because of this? Am I starting a trend of bad eating habits because I give him cookies sometimes instead of a banana? Then I stress about it, mull the possibilities of all of the others things I did, or did not do that could screw up my son forever.

I know that every Mom will make mistakes throughout parenthood. I believe it's part of becoming a better parent. You make mistakes, and learn from them. Obsessing over these mistakes on the other hand can only lead to headaches and an empty bottle of Advil. But I do it anyway. Sometimes I curse at myself, and go on and on about how I am a bad Mother for the choices I have made.

In all honesty, I know deep down that I'm not a bad Mom. I try everyday to teach Little Man good things, and attempt to show him all the love in the world, and when I don't think I have any left- I find even more. Along with CJ, I'm learning everyday too. I think that my good attempts far outweigh the bad; and even on the worst of days I am learning to find humor in all the little things that can and WILL go wrong. Everyday will not be perfect.

I am on a path to learning to forgive myself for the mistakes that I make. But right now, at this moment in time- I am my son's hero... I am a perfect Mom (at least in his eyes).


  1. I worry that the things i do NOW even before she's arrived is going to effect my daughter... i tend to stress about that just a little to much.

    And yes you are your sons perfect mother!

  2. It's a never ending cycle of worry, thats for sure!

  3. You sounds just like me! :-) I am constantly worried about stuff like that. But my hubby always says that I just need to focus on doing it differently tomorrow. Apparently he can take guilt and turn it into productivity. For me? Not as easy - but I'm working on it! You are a great mom - keep you chin up!

  4. Why does it always seem to be that way Joanna? The Dads seem to just take it easier on themselves!